Juz emotions taking me over

Lost….

Posted on: March 9, 2009

Was online on Sunday playing Facebook, then got notification that he accepted the friend request. So..he was online too. I msg him a hi and he asked me about the title I put on Facebook “明知道不会有结果,为何还如此执著?”. He said there is meaning between my words. Obviously he knew what that was all about haha…good..not stupid..

Same as before..he reminded me of the time I dedicated a song on radio to him on his bday and he actually called me (1st time, ok?) to ask, why I chose this song. Totally acting blur to me..the DJ had read out the msg, to pay attention to the lyrics and he asked me that?..So I also act blur and say uh..I think the song is nice. Hahaha..

Well, getting back to the FB..found out he was in Shanghai for training at this time and back mid Apr. Talked about how people need to know endings (结果) in order to have a new beginning, a new chapter in life and how difficult it can be to find closure because the ending may not be what you expect. I say, both me and him were just continually avoiding the real topic, yet close to the edge. So I asked him if “there is something you feel a need to tell someone, but you are just so worried about the consequences, what would you do?” He told me he it depended on the impact of it and if I need to get it off, I should tell, despite good or bad ending. Ha.. We ended the conversation soon after.

I decided that I needed to ‘close the chapter’, so I logged on to write a last msg on a blog (that I kinda dedicated to him for the past year, writing about songs that reminded me of him,memories and so on), ending with a “I always thought I will never treat you as just a friend but now, I just want to tell you that I will, someday.”

I hope and don’t hope that he will reply me..

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